Buddh said, “Ignorance is the foundation of all suffering”
In my twenties, I used to have periodic attacks of terrible pain due to a pea-size kidney stone. The stone was a result of a combination of an inherited gene – family history and my unresolved issues. Key issues were my anger to my alcoholic father, co-dependant mother and the patriarchal system that had no respect or even tolerance for “female” characteristics in a male. I refer to sensitivity, vulnerability, need for intimacy, empathy, compassion, creativity – all very evidently present in me. The kidney, liver, gall bladder, pancreas, upper intestinal tract, and spleen are all under the influence of the adrenal glands. These organs normally respond to any emotions or attitudes that activate the sympathetic nervous system through the adrenals or the hormones that arise in those glands. The physical almost always reflects the mental and emotional states. Injuries to the spine, a fall, a blow – often forgotten – produce faulty neurological impulses to the liver and kidney. So these so-called accidents to the spine might be viewed as karmic responses to past-life experiences originating from destructive attitudes imprinted in DNA. In my case, the kidney stone was formed by repeat emotions from my mental attitudes of fear, oversensitivity, and anger.
My doctor suggested the extracorporeal shockwave lithotripsy. ESWL is the most frequently used procedure for the treatment of kidney stones. In ESWL, shock waves that are created outside the body travel through the skin and body tissues until they hit the denser stones. The stone is supposed to break down into sand-like particles which are then passed through the urinary tract in the urine. I decided to give the treatment a try. I was supposed to have ESWL treatment of 30 minutes once a week until the stone shattered. In my first treatment, after 3 minutes I’d had enough. My body was in horrific, deep shock from this shock wave therapy. I was emotionally overwhelmed and mentally disoriented. My whole being was telling me that this kind of “therapy” could not possibly be good for me, and the doctor offered me no other alternative but surgery. To cut my body open? No, thank you.
The symptoms that usually follows ‘the kidney attack’ in joy case is have blocked nose, and not being ale to breath. The symptoms would usually come 2-3 days before the stone moves in my kidney creating terrible pain and I would end up in emergency hospital. I lived in England at that time and wanted to prevent ‘the kidney attack’ and decided to visit my doctor. I explain to him that the symptoms of blocked nose is linked to the movement of the kidney stone and terrible pin that follows. He laughed and said, ‘Are you kidding me. Your blocked nose is high fever and cannot be linked to the kidney. I said to him, ‘It seems that you are kidding me.’ He replied, ‘I am your doctor, I know better.’ I said o him, ‘No, you are not my doctor any more. You are an ignorant man. You cannot know my body and you cannot be me, so good buy. I come home and said to my beloved Lana, ‘I just argue with my doctor. I am done with medical establishment. She said, ‘O no, you are on your own. What are you going to do? I am going too heal my kidney. I then decided to break the stone on my own. I spontaneously started visualizing all negative, toxic energies going out of my body with the kidney stone. I visualized while urinating. The purpose of the natural process of urination is to empty the bladder of unwanted debris from the body and this visualization came naturally to me. I was drinking 5-6 litres of water every day and went to the washroom very frequently. Every time I urinated I visualized the stone going out with the urine. After a week or two I passed the stone. Since that time I never went to see a doctor and have never had any serious health problems, not even a flu or a cold.
Unresolved emotional issues or emotional traumas, which are not processed, acknowledged or allowed to be experienced, can obstruct the free, healthy flow of energy in the body-mind-soul system. That energy is not flowing freely and pain is created in a particular weak part of the body, the organs, joints, bones or muscle. Those areas of stagnant energy contain a negative emotional charge that literally fragments the human energy field into separate compartments without any or with very little communication between them. The body is not only feeling the real pain, but you are adding more layers of negative traumatic energies with daily attitudes, self-condemnation, anger, guilt, or fear making the situation even more complex and more traumatic. Expressions of resistance, fear, anger, guilt, shame, envy, resentment, and all other forms of negativity are distorted energy of your True-Self.
When we go through a negative experience, usually we form a belief, such as; “I’m not worthy,” or “I am not able to make it” or “I’m stupid.” Infinite negativities. If we believe in those statements, we are allowing imprints in our energy field and they start having a separate life from the rest of our being. It is dissension or conflict that has never been resolved in our system; friction that was never observed or allowed and transformed, but rather stored and put on hold. The only place that it can be stored in is our own being. Every single cell of our body holds the unprocessed painful experience, and the more effort we make to keep it at distance from our awareness, the more it controls us. It keeps triggering intense emotional reactions of being flooded, in between being numb and unable to feel fully alive; it keeps reinforcing non-thriving, untruthful negative believes about us and life; it motivates destructive maladaptive behaviours.
When you feel pain and want to get rid of it, or forget it, or “kill it” with “painkillers”, you just have to remember one thing:
The common perception of pain is one of the `problem`. The mind becomes preoccupied with thoughts and ideas to avoid or forget or run away from the problem. You will not extinguish fire with petrol; sometimes even water can not do it. You need knowledge, and understanding of the fire. Real knowledge is that the fire is not the problem, but ignorance of the fire is. With knowledge you change your perception of the ‘problem’ into a ‘situation’. When you change the ‘problem’ into a ‘situation,’ a whole new paradigm will happen. With the ‘situation’ your mind starts thinking differently. With the situation there is a chance, an opportunity, a moment to consider… and in that state of mind it is easy to see the pain as something that can unite or integrate us rather than separate us; something you can experience, you can resolve. The pain becomes not your enemy, but your friend, showing you the neglected part of yourself. That part needs your attention, love and care. That part need your consciousness to connect you to your soul. You need to do soul healing in order to be healthy, balanced and in equilibrium.